lana's apartment } { a guilty conscience needs no accuser

[manorsuperman]

[Lana insisted Dean come back home when he found his brother and was glad to see he listened. Not that she hadn't expected him to, but with things as crazy as they were, she wasn't sure what to expect anymore.

She made sure he was comfortable on the couch, then pulled his favorite beer from the fridge along with a slice of homemade pie.

There was a look, though, a look she knew very well.

She handed off the beer, but kept the plate in her hands as she sat.]

So are we going to talk about it or are you planning on eating your feelings?

Comments

[manorsuperman]

[It takes her a bit, but she gets there.]

A few years ago, when I was with Clark, he went missing for a couple of weeks. Or...I thought it was only a couple.

[a beat]

It turns out what came back wasn't Clark, just-- [a big sigh] Just some kind of copy. Including his memories.

[another beat]

I was living with him for over a month before the real Clark came back.

[hasperkynipples]

[listens, takes that in. He remembers that year. He dropped by during that year, before his deal came due, and he wonders for a brief moment if that was the real Clark he was seeing, or the imposter that she was mentioning]

What happened when you found out?

[manorsuperman]

He asked me to come away with him. That Clark could never love me the way he did. Sometimes I think maybe he was right.

[a beat before she finally looks at Dean]

I told he was. That I'd never been more in love.

[she becomes very still and almost blank]

Then I killed him.

[hasperkynipples]

[his hand wanders down to find hers. He doesn't know much about Clark's alien friends. Not beyond what they are and what they can do, but they made things complicated. More complicated than his monsters ever did -- and they could make things pretty damn complicated.]

You did what you had to do.

[he tries to tell himself the same thing, and he knows it doesn't help much, but it's the only thing he can thing of to say]

[manorsuperman]

I know. It didn't matter what either of us felt, or how much he promised to change. He wasn't going to.

[another slow, deep breath]

Some people are just killers.

[hasperkynipples]

[nods]

Killing something that killed people isn't the part that's bothering me. It's what I do every day. It's just that I had to go behind Sam's back to do it.

[manorsuperman]

Would Sam have let you if you hadn't?

[hasperkynipples]

No. She was his friend. He trusted her.

[manorsuperman]

[pauses as she nods]

I think it's good you feel this way. It says something wonderful about you. But it doesn't change the fact that you had to do it.

[hasperkynipples]

Yeah.

[reaches for his beer and takes a sip, leaning back into the couch as he swallows]

Yeah, I know.

[manorsuperman]

[She watches him for a moment. He seems to feel a little better, but now she's the one who needs to talk. The problem is finding the right words.]

I missed you. While you were gone.

I know I've said it before, but...it's moments like this when I remember what it was like without you.

[hasperkynipples]

[he glances over at her at that, before holding out his arm and gesturing for her to come closer]

C'mere. I'm right here.

[manorsuperman]

[She leans against him, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.]

No one understands me like you do.

[a beat]

No one who isn't a sociopath. [There's a bit of guilt in that part.]

[hasperkynipples]

[closes his eyes and settles. he knows he has to keep this moment about them, and not let Sam creep into the edges of his thoughts, and for a moment, he manages to do it]

I consider it a fair trade off for putting up with all the shit I put you through.

[manorsuperman]

You haven't put me through anything I wouldn't go through again.

[hasperkynipples]

[one hand strays against her back as he keeps her close]

Hopefully lightening won't strike twice.

[manorsuperman]

[She grins a little, a little amused considering what happened the last time lightening actually did strike.

She hasn't told him that story yet. Maybe later.

She picks up the fork on the plate and scoops up a little of the pie.]

I think I'm pretty good at taking care of you.

[Yes, Dean, she's gonna feed you now.]

[hasperkynipples]

[hot lady feeding him pie? So not complaining. takes the bite of the pie and gives her a grin]

You're awesome at taking care of me.

[manorsuperman]

[that gets a laugh, because let's face it, even though she expected a reaction like that, she still finds it absolutely adorable

more pie for her man]

Ya know, if I start craving pie in a couple of months, I'm blaming it on you.

[hasperkynipples]

What's wrong with having a pie craving? Pie is almost better than sex.

[note the "almost." never mind the fact that Sam can't seem to appreciate either]

[manorsuperman]

[oh, she appreciates it, just a lot more in moderation than he does]

It depends on the pie.

[hasperkynipples]

Depends how?

[manorsuperman]

Ingredients. Though I'll admit, I'm a little snooty when it comes to dessert.

[hasperkynipples]

A little, huh?

[smirks as he shifts so they can stay close]

So what pies are off limits?

[manorsuperman]

[a little shrug]

I just think that a dessert can't reach that level of pleasure unless it's creamy.

[a beat]

Maaaaybe chocolate, but it has to be quality chocolate.